Torn…

When you get caught between the moon and New York City

I grew up in suburbia, with a few years, here and there spent in the country. I have always preferred what I considered ‘city-living’; always stated things like “I am a city girl”. I never really understood just how different living in the city was from suburban life.

In 2011, we packed up and took our belongings to Philadelphia, PA. It took me close to two years to get my flow with the city, it really did not happen until we moved to the Rittenhouse Square area. Then…that is when I fell in love. I loved everything about living there. I loved walking to all the places I needed to go, I loved that if the weather was nasty, I could have practically anything I wanted delivered to my front door. I loved that the city was alive until early in the morning, and waking up by 5:00 am. I was in my element.

Unfortunately, it was not my husband’s element. He wanted greenery, the stuff I have never enjoyed, other than to look at – mainly because I am allergic to it all. He wanted a slower pace of life, a speed I was not sure was on my dial. Thus the reason we moved to Kentucky.

We have been here a little over three years now, and it took one of them for me not to wake up wishing it had all been a nightmare, and another one for me to really feel like it was going to be ok. Getting to see the wildlife from my front door helped a great deal and meeting a couple of great friends pushed me passed my ‘woe is me’ mentality. Now, I will not go as far as to say I am in my element, that would be a lie. As I have stated in a previous post, I do love our house, especially after the remodels we have had done, and I think Kentucky is beautiful; there is a Starbucks, so it is not completely uncivilized.

However, I had almost six years of my bliss, and now we are in his…seems fair, right? Although I have settled into a routine, I still have moments where I miss city life. I miss being able to go to the grocery store and find the options I want, granted I will admit I am somewhat of a food snob, but I am also a foodie, and it is damn difficult for a foodie to get some of the gourmet ingredients they need in London, Kentucky.

Although I miss Reading Terminal Market, I miss the nightlife, I miss concerts and the occasional girl’s night, going back to visit is not the same. When you live in the city, you have a pulse that beats with it, you are in tune with its rhythm. When you move away, after a time, that connection is broken; when you return for a visit, you are no not the same as an outsider, but you are a beat behind. It hurts a little because you remember how it felt to walk up and down the streets like you owned the place. You knew what was where and the secrets of your neighborhood.

Funny thing, when I return home to Dallas, it does not feel like that, it still feels like home, but the only thing that draws me there now are my family and friends, whereas Philly…Philly has a piece of my heart. I miss it, but I am not unhappy with where I am.

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