Living with my new normal…

I said “goodbye” to my mom on Mother’s Day. I was in Venice, hours away from being able to reach her when I received the news that she had “48 hours” to live. Here is where I have never been so grateful for modern technology. I was able to FaceTime with her, able to tell her how much I loved her, and how I didn’t want her to be in pain any longer. Even though she was somewhat out of it, she looked at the phone, and I knew she knew it was me. I know she heard me. I told her I was going to be getting on the next plane I could, but that I did not want her to wait for me. I told her I knew she loved me, and that she would always be with me. It broke my heart to hang up, knowing I would probably never see her smile again.  Continue reading

Sometimes when you’re in a dark place…

Do you ever play the ‘what if’ game? I did that for many years, and I reached a point, not too long ago, where I let many of my what ifs go. I talk about moving on and moving forward, but looking back, talk is about the only thing that has happened. Okay, that is not entirely true, I have made some progress…I have let go of the constant thought that I still needed to get a college degree. It was something I believed was going to happen since I was six years old, but it has not and that is okay. I have let go of the believe that I should be living in a big city, and in all honesty, I am now okay with that as well. Continue reading

FOMO…the struggle is real

FOMO, or Fear oMissing Out, is powerful, and something I had no idea about, until recently. I am unsure if this has been a term that has been out there for a long time and I am just late to the party, or if this is a relatively new discovery; whichever it is, it is a strong reality for me. I have suffered with this for as long as I can remember, I just did not have a name for it. Continue reading

There are no words…

that can truly express how much I love my husband!

Today, as I looked out the window while hanging up clothes, I noticed my husband doing ‘manly‘ things. He was putting a tire on his truck. As I watched, my heart swelled with such love for him. He is one of the greatest men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. He is loving, kind, generous (most days), and he loves me. I have never, ever questioned that. Continue reading

A piece to the puzzle…

I have had a deep seeded faith in G-d my entire life. I was raised Catholic, until I was nine years old, when my mother got ‘saved‘ in a little assembly of G-d church, and moved me to a new denomination. I always felt that the ritualism of the Catholic church suited me more than the loud chaos of the ASG and Pentecostal churches we were a part of there after. I always felt like a square peg in a round hole. Continue reading